Dog lovers say, "you boned her" and "I didn't bone him." No comment from the actual dogs involved

Tiger and his lovely bride apparently had a bit of a argument, during which Elen hit Tiger in the head with a golf club. After confronting Tiger with the latest of many rumors of his whoremongering, and his subsequent denial, Elen put her four iron in the rough (aka, the back of Tiger's head).

Tiger and his lovely bride enjoy a little heavy petting

The alleged mistress, Rachel Uchitel, swears she never saw his "putter" but did get to see him do some "driving." While much speculation abounds, I think we all know what she meant by "his putter." Don't we? Yes, we do.

Rachel, also a dog lover, insists she did nothing inappropriate
(why do none of the women I know wear high heels with their cutoffs?
I feel very cheated...)

What can we learn from this situation? Tiger's wife and girlfriend are pretty hot. Oh, and if you are gonna go in the rough, you may need a pitching wedge.

As a side note, Rachel has kept the dog theme and has hired Gloria Allred as her attorney for, possibly suing the National Enquirerer and TMZ for defamation of character. She claims that she will no longer be able to have sex with celebrities, cuz they will be, like, afraid to bone her now.

Disclaimer: No bitches were harmed in the making of this post.